Marilyn's Guide to a Healthy Old Age

My mother, Marilyn Bornstein, passed away last week at age 95. In addition to being long, her life was filled with meaning, creativity, spirituality, humor, family, and love. Three years ago she delighted our family by imparting to us the secrets of her extraordinarily successful life. I know this is a departure from my usual Clarity pieces but I thought you, the reader, would benefit, as I did, from my mother’s wisdom. In her memory, I wish to share them with you all.

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MY ADVISORY FOR HEALTHY OLD AGE

by Marilyn Bornstein, written in 2021

Over the years I have been blessed by good health. I am 92 and did not really have any illness until a few years ago. In addition, I have always been very active and energetic all these years. IN RESPONSE TO THE REQUESTS OF MY BELOVED CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN, AND GREAT GRANDCHILDREN,  I feel the obligation to share my success with the many people who have requested the “secrets” of my endurance, positive recovery and healthy aging in light of my age as of this writing.

Where shall I begin?

Sometime in 2017, I was having pains in my stomach and the doctor’s concluded that it might be cancer. The diagnosis proved that it was a tumor and the physicians recommended that it be removed.

AFTER DELIBERATION AND OBTAINING TWO ADDITIONAL OPINIONS, I had my complete bowel cancer removed and at the same time I had all but two knobs in my pancreas surgically removed. I feel I owe my surprising survival rate to my exceptional surgical care, as well as my strong belief system that my body would heal. At my age it is very dangerous to be under anesthesia too long, but due to the expertise of my surgeon he was able to avoid that pitfall and completed the surgery in a fraction of the time it required. Fortunately, I made it through surgery without any complications.

The next day I was up and walking and in a week I was back in the comfort of my own home. I am so grateful to my beloved husband and children who did not leave my side and contributed to the amazingly short time of my recovery. Home care continued with the excellent team of caregivers, my great diet and my personal attention to my needs.

Four key factors that have contributed to my recovery:

1) Create and obey a basic good diet. Adopt it and stay with it

2) Include discussions with my brain. Another way to be mindful

3) Encourage enjoyable relationships (family, friends)

4) Include activities YOU treasure such as reading, family, golf, yoga, socialization, music, poetry, etc.

Of the four factors, let me expound on #2 above, I have a personal conversation with my brain, (self- talk), on a consistent basis. I ask my brain to help me in devising means to calm my concerns and help me find ways to develop calming approaches. For instance, when I am angry, which is not often, I discuss all the factors involved and how to calm and possibly remove each one, or reasonably resolve as much as I can at each sitting. All this requires is a quiet place where I will not be interrupted and where my brain can work with my contemplation. I examine and sort out my own involvement to what caused a particular reaction, and how I can react more effectively to quiet my responses and investigate finding better resolutions. If I can find my own solutions and apply them as cures, I often then can work on my own diagnosis.

Now it may be helpful if I relate my daily routine, so bear with me while I take you along on my typical daily activities consistent with my philosophy of good health.  

My morning schedule

I usually wake up between 9:30 and 10:00 am on weekday mornings and allow myself an extra hour on weekends. I make sure to weigh myself as soon as I wake just to check if I am remaining within my normal realm (105 lbs. or its vicinity- since my surgery).

Then it is toothbrush time. That, too, has its own regime. I use Colgate toothpaste to brush my teeth, both the backs and fronts thoroughly. Then I wash my toothbrush and use it to massage my gums. I rinse my mouth with Act mouthwash. I am rewarded when at my dental exam, my dentist congratulates me on the strength of my gums. Regarding my advanced age, I value the condition of my gums. Lack of gum care causes softening and cavities as we age.

Shower

Many years ago, Lester and I decided to develop our own special approach to our morning routine to set up for the day. We had been impressed by an article advising a steam shower that contributes to extending the lengthening of our lives. Since we did not have a steam shower in our bathroom, we looked into the possibility of installing one. It became a reasonable possibility and we were able to have it as a reality at an affordable price. It has been the first step in our morning process since its installation.

Steam showers relax muscles, reduce muscle pain, increase blood flow, enhance overall performance, etc. We feel it may have extended our years of healthy old age.

After steam in the shower I moisturize my whole body with Lubriderm lotion (when we age our skin gets very dry) and start get dressed (I always put out clothes the night before to have it ready in the morning).

Then I sit down in front of a mirror and accomplish my face care. The last couple of years I started to use facial line called Trilane and I am very pleased with it, though I’ve been a great fan of over the counter brand Roc for years and I still use it in my every day regimen.

First, I gently massage my face with Trilane Gentle Cleanse, then rinse it with lukewarm water thoroughly and pat dry with a towel. Then I apply Trilane Retinol+Vitamin C syrup evenly over my entire face and massage it in my skin. After my skin absorbs the lotion I either put Roc day moisturizer or Trilane intensive repair. I always alternate Trilane and Roc brands to get the most benefits. Once I finish face care, I put rollers in my hair to get the volume, spray with hair spray and leave it on for 2 hours. Now I am ready to go downstairs.

Brain exercise

Before I sit down to eat breakfast, I prepare for my brain exercise for the day. This consists of the assistance of The Star Ledger Newspaper that has a page on weekdays with a “Word For The Day”. Using the letters in the word, I am challenged to create as many new words as I possibly can. I make a list of the new words hoping they conform to the maximum amount suggested by the newspaper. Meanwhile, my caregiver is preparing breakfast for Lester and me.

Meals

My breakfasts alternate each day between two menus:

First day - Veggie Omelette - onions, red peppers, mushrooms, spinach and tomatoes chopped and sauteed in a little bit of olive oil, pour scrambled eggs over, cover for few minutes and once done serve on a toast as desired with a cup of coffee and a glass of fruit juice. I like orange and pomegranate juice mixed together.

Second day - Fresh berries (or fruits you prefer) mixed up in either hot or cold cereal or mixed up with granola, walnuts and yogurt and of course honey poured on top.

I also take vitamins with my breakfast (Resveratrol and Fish oil).

For lunch, one of the very important “rituals” in my daily life is a glass of red wine in the afternoon, which is very good for you because it’s rich in antioxidants and helps to relax your mind and take away the tension of the day.

For all of our meals we prefer to cook with fresh ingredients, use colorful fruits and vegetables, more fish than meat and try to limit our fat, sugar and salt intake. All kinds of nuts are also very important, so enjoy a handful every day. Honey and cinnamon are very beneficial too.

Exercise

Although my diet holds a high position in the constituents of my good health, being active and exercising is another important factor. JCC has always been very important in our lives, and we’ve been members for a long time and spend a couple of hours 4-5 days a week. The older we’ve got, harder it was for us to get there but it didn’t stop us from exercising and strengthening our muscles even at home. We no longer go to JCC but use stationary bike in our home for half an hour every day, also do stretching exercising with weights. Having a partner or partners will make it more appealing. Walking is also very beneficial for your health.

Reading

I have been an ardent reader since first grade, a habit that gives me a great deal of emotional pleasure. Every morning before I get out of bed and just before I close my eyes at night, I read for half an hour. I have owned a Kindle for many years. It gives me an accessibility to literature I love, replenishing it as soon as I complete my current reading. Both, literary pleasure and literary enrichment help me maintain my positive state of mind and enhance my physical ability to handle the additional unexpected disturbances that may occur.

Concluding Thoughts

Another very important contributor to my well-being is my incredibly close relationship with my family and friends. Loving relationships contribute to my brains need for calmness and peace of mind and the ultimate goal of good health.

Although none of my practices are revolutionary or obtuse, it is important to make a commitment to be and stay healthy and have the discipline to keep with your routine in a consistent fashion. I hope this helps you and that you all live a long, healthy, and purposeful life.